#so i was also super depressed this year | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cyberkiss2uu · 10 months ago

Text

yayy its almost the end of 2023!! this year was huge for my art growth and its so awesome to look back on everything.. this was super fun 2 make and not only serves as a memory for this year's art and my interests but to my closest irl and online friends who were with me the whole way ^_^

happy new year!! heres to more growth and fun :-)

#happy new year #art gallery #digital artist #artists on tumblr #jammy sona #self portrait #look at my kitty her name is olive #this year was super hard for me between moving and not being able to start college or have a job #so i did a lot of physical work for my parents #and it left me exhausted and with very very little time to draw #and i was like 1000 miles from all my friends suddenly #so i was also super depressed this year #but being able to look back at it and see the small pockets of happiness i found was great #next year ill be starting college and hopefully finding a job so ill be busy then too #but maybe ill feel better about it :-) idk #art will always be a part of me i dont think any circumstances could keep me from creating art #this is getting deep i gotta go #phew happy new years everybody

2 notes · View notes

dont-offend-the-bees · 5 months ago

Text

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town #but like. We have Differences Of Opinion #and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off #but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on #but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him #but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him #and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit #like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men #but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD #like bro #I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle #and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope #but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own #like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little #like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang #but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me #like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit #But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy #I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me

24 notes · View notes

ettadunham · 1 month ago

Text

sometimes i remember the hunger games and how nobody actually paid attention to what was in those books

#americans close your eyes and ears right now #i'm well aware that my political takes are way too spicy for you all #and i really do wish my media diet didn't contain so much us-centric shit #but alas we're all suffering here #and i could say that 'oh actually it does matter who your president is for us in the world'#but it doesn't. it really fucking doesn't. that's kind of the point.#oh i'm sorry my spicy takes are already starting #anyway it is wild that you all can understand katniss assassinating coin at the end of mockingjay #but get super upsetty that chappell roan won't support your favorite presidential candidate with her full chest #like come on none of you actually thought that her using the phrase both sides meant that she was a republican or even a centrist #that's just copium #you all knew exactly what she meant #but i guess encouraging people to think critically and get involved with their local elections and politics as well is... bad now?#also... why do you all care so much about a random pop star's opinion and whether or not she dares to criticize a government #like... she's right but i'm sure 5 years from now if she survives in the limelight her edges will be completely chipped away #by all this insane reaction #and before anyone comes for me... no i'm not saying you shouldn't vote. please fucking do.#neither am i saying you shouldn't vote strategically or encourage other people to do so #but if all your energy is spent policing people who criticize your chosen party because of their own principles #then there's something seriously wrong with your politics #and all you're signalling is that you truly do not fucking care about the issues that they care about #if anything..... you RESENT them #and then the same people bring up the parable of the 'unjust man'#or how it's never the right time to talk about gun violence in your country #harm reduction is all good and based but attacking people who are leveraging their support to push your party left #is not. it's not even fucking helpful #anyway. don't base your lives and politics around pop stars.#even if they are more based than you 🤷#i think i'm done now thank you tumblr for letting me have insane rants in my tags that hopefully no one reads #idk i just find this all depressing. i wish you all cared more about the world outside of your bubble. i wish we all did - myself included.

7 notes · View notes

marc-spectorr · 10 months ago

Text

hi :)

#ive been super busy and depressed but im backkk #my new year’s resolution is to start writing again so here i am lol #im also gonna be catching up on A LOT of fics pls bear with me #hoping 2024 will be kind to you all <3

22 notes · View notes

shannonsketches · 2 months ago

Text

Putting 'geets is a cat' in my own tags has me laughing so hard thinking about how Bulma 'My Dad is an Avid Animal Rescuer' Briefs could probably circumvent Geets getting in the way during his 'I'm quitting fighting forever' phases by giving him his own little tasks to do that mimic hers

look at this little business man

#genuinely he was a commanding officer/lord and outside of battle most of his 25+ year career was probably just. Management.#with how messy bulma is geets is probably a major asset. I bet her lab/office is never more organized than when he's home #that said it is VERY funny to think that he was annoyingly rigid and getting in the way of Bulma's creative process at the beginning of #the 7 year gap so she just started giving him Very Important random busywork to stave off his depression but keep him out of her way #We know geets is also scientific and I hc he knows some basic mechanical engineering (to keep from falling victim to a ship breaking down)#nothing super advanced but enough to help out here and there and at least offer alien solutions to earthling tech problems #maybe she made him help her “fix” the gravity room and then test it out and that's how he started training again aw

6 notes · View notes

toytulini · 6 months ago

Text

the challenge of i should commission art of my ocs. would love to commission like, siiyr or bokrae, maybe krachyn or jula. siiyr or bokrae would make the most sense, maybe krachyn. i think theyre the ones with the most detailed notes on their anatomy

but also

oh god i cannot subject another artist to the anatomical war crimes i committed in making these ocs

#toy txt post #ig id be best off commissioning someone w a lot experience w like. centaurs. let alone commisioning them actually doing anything #interesting. the good bad news is ai cant do it either. fucking i cant even do it. why did i make these bitches. i gave bokrae a gf #but shes not. she cant even. her lips dont really do a kiss shape shes all teeth #siiyr has too many fucking elbows and a weird skull situation #bokraes skull continues to break my brain. i think it does break physics in universe. birdie did weird shit w that eye #its constantly trying to explode #the art ideas i have for bokrae and siiyr have plagued me for years even now in my depression funk of no new ideas #i cant bring myself to subject other artists to them?????#i should specify Bokrae's teeth more tho probably. i used to jokingly explain it away as she has all the teeth/they change #and. they do. canonically birdie has to replace all of her bones over time especially her skull. but also #that was me being lazyyyyyyyyyyyy #idk i know you dont necessarily need like a super detailed ref sheet to commission things but like. if i was commissioning my own ocs id #want that probably?#maybe i will try to draw the girls today. probably not doing anything interesting #bc i have not drawn for One Billion Years and im out of practice with Normal Human Anatomy let alone #these fucking Monsters #also maybe one day ill figure out Jared #pigeon head on a deaths head moth body with gemstone eyes is something i can see in my head but when i try to draw it it doesnt look right #so. need to work on that? the main thing about jared is that he needs to Scuttle #and id like to incorporate a pigeon #hm #hmmmmmmm

9 notes · View notes

moookar · 5 months ago

Text

can i get some criticism on my gesture drawings? I struggle with motion in my art.

while i was drawing these, i figured out what people mean when they talk about muscles flowing in the pose. I just just figured that out though so i would definitely like tips on how to apply that etc

Reference photos taken from line-of-action.com

#Art criticism #art #I think once i figure out gesture for realsizes and can visualize the whole skeletal structure well (rn i can only really apply the skull)#i could consider myself an intermediate artist #I bet that’ll take a year?#somewhere around there #i’m excited for that personal milestone #Also currently super depressed so im hoping throwing myself into my art will help. If i dont have hope for my future at least i can have—#—hope that i can make nice shapes in a few months lmao #My medication has helped me wake up earlier but it hasn’t made me any less sad unfortunately #i just started it 2 months ago though so that might change #sorry for oversharing 😔

9 notes · View notes

chatdae · 6 months ago

Text

The Great Gatsby (1974) au where Gatsby doesn't die and instead Nick takes on the no-paying job of trying to get Jay to move on from Daisy.

Bad ending is Gatsby never does & he and the Buchanans become a never-ending shitshow. Good ending is Jay moves on. Super special bonus ending is Jay and Nick fall in love (toxicity optional)

#I specified the movie because I havent read the book so idk Book Nick or Book Jay I havent met them #the great gatsby #the great gatsby 1974 #the great gatsby (1974)#My favorite idea is a mix of the Good and Super Special Bonus endings #Where Gatsby moves on and spends a good few years learning to be a normal fucking human being #(ft Nick being a supportive friend (but also getting back to being normal after his summer of bullshit))#(and Jay figuring out how to have normal fucking relationships means he visits his dad in person more often :'3 )#anyway after 5 years or so Jay falls in love with Nick in a way that is Healthy and Not Obsessive #and the two of them become a Normal Healthy couple #which is of course difficult because. time period #but I like to imagine that Jay's dad is happy about it :']#also. assuming Jay doesnt go to jail for Crime. he's got enough money to basically deal with any problem #(if i had a nickel for every time i shipped a blond x brown-hair gay couple from the Great Depression i'd have two nickels)#(which isnt many but it's strange it's happened twice)#Also yeah I know this au of mine is Boring. dw I don't think toxic romance stories are Horrible or that fiction has model ideal behavior #I just personally find joy in imagining mundane healing stories :'))#jay gatsby #nick carraway #my words

11 notes · View notes

bunnihearted · 6 months ago

Text

goddess the body feels sooo good after a workout 🫠

#it feels so warm and heavy and so comfortable omg #have y'all heard about exercise and stretching it is amazing owo #my thighs are super gooey tho like can barely sit and stand #luv it!!!#it feels extra good bc i woke up today super depressed (bc yesterday was rough)#and i just wanted to keep my earplugs in and cry and stay in bed all day #but somehow i managed to get up and walk all the way to the gym #and i worked out for almost 2hrs lol like when i get started i dont wanna leave #i did more on the crosstrainer (my bby i love the crosstrainer) and i dared to use the leg machine i wanted #i could adjust the seat this time phew. and i tried just one bump heaver weight for everything too #owoowowow and for some reason i didnt totally wanna throw up when i had to observe myself in the mirror skskk #so yeah it was a good session today ^-^#as always tho i do feel stupid and inadequate... bc almost everyone who is there is in great shape #and they know what they're doing and they're doing complicated exercises with very heavy weight and im there #with my 2kg dumbells getting strains in my wrists (im careful tho dw!!!!!)#im definitely doing it at a very low level but last time i worked out was before my knee got fucked and before all of these weird pains #😃😃😃 so im not even as strong as i was when i was overweight.. i never felt weak when i was #but i go to the gym because i enjoy it since it's fun and even the low intensity stuff i do makes my body feel nice #and if i keep going regularly for years maybe i'll also get in good shape and do more and more stuff #i wanna be a gym bunny!!!!!!#i used to actually love the gym so much i wanted to work at one skksks

11 notes · View notes

non-un-topo · 7 months ago

Text

Humble brags from this week because I feel really accomplished and proud of myself

2 months on T looks hot as hell on me and it feels even better. I was given a work/study student of the year award by my supervisor yesterday completely by surprise, and I also picked up a certificate of recognition for trans day of visibility from the student community & leadership development office at my school. I accepted my offer to work in the library over the summer (better $$ than I thought!) so I'll finally have a legit job after 5 years (and in a field I love)! I'm working on a course with one of my favourite profs and it's looking good -- I got to design my own syllabus so it's all about transmasculine theory & life writing, which will prep me for grad school if I so choose. My partner is graduating college and we're planning to do a grad trip in Montreal with our pals. All of my coworkers and peers have been so wonderful and kind and supportive since I've gone public with my transition (even the one who had a lot to learn -- she has come super far and I'm really grateful for her). And I just checked my GPA and it went up a little! 8.5/9, babeyy.

#maybe it's just because the sun is out and i'm at that Good Point in my -- eugh -- my cycle #also maybe i've been depressed and under too much stress too long lol because i want to feel suspicious #things are a little TOOOO good.... hmmmmmmmmm #no but i'm super happy. glad i'm still around and got through the bad shit. glad i'm getting further and further away from my teen years #daddy gets shit DONE #i need to actually stop calling myself daddy but no i won't. i'm the father of my 21 year old friend through-and-through #i just think it's funny for a pee-wee like me to call himself daddy. it's funny!!!#also my (favourite shh) coworker complimented my little moustache yesterday and i feel so SEEN

8 notes · View notes

coollyinterferes · 10 months ago

Text

*taps mic; a certain gentleman is standing right beside him*

"Good evenin', everyone!! We're back!! Hope you didn't miss us much!"

"It sure hasn't been that long.... has it....?"

Uhhmmm....

#[shows up late with no st*rb*cks bc fuck those guys but HIIIII 8) ]#[*insert 'haven't been here since last year joke*]#[no but fr AAAAA i'm so sorry abt the silence!! as usual depression got my ass around mid-december due to Some Stuff irl]#[from there it's been all downs and just a few ups so i've been taking it slow and trying not to let it all get to me (much)]#[anyways hi hi hi. how have y'all been doing???]#[super late but i hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season!!]#[also sending you all the best of wishes for the new year!!!]#[i might not be able to post thread replies tonight but i'll be around for a bit working on some of them]#[i think i also had some pending asks last time??? so i might try to start from there]#[dumb brain is still all BLERGH but feel free to send in stuff if you wish!]#[prompted. unprompted. random. etc. all is good]#[hope you're all having a wonderful day/night/etc!!! <3]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;jonathan says (( ic ))#;ic #(????

12 notes · View notes

lindamccartneysstrap · 7 months ago

Text

I actually think I do tend to gravitate towards characters named James and I kinda wonder if it's because of latent mommy issues because my mom was named Jamie after her grandpa James who died when I was 4

#my mom was completely fucked up by my grandpas death he was like a dad to her #incidentally i think his death is also why i hate birthdays because he died a few days before mine and so every year around my bday my mom #would get super depressed and it ruined the whole thing for me

8 notes · View notes

cheriafreya · 8 months ago

Text

being a broke ass gamer is driving me 😀 C-R-A-Z-Y 😀